We are now four weeks into surviving being a family of four! Shae got three weeks off this time around which was seriously amazing and helpful. Mostly, it really helped with Everlee adjusting to the transition of mom not being at her beck and call all day. This was also a hard transition for me and gave me a lot of mom guilt, but doing much better now! While it has been pretty smooth, there have been some harder days and nights. Some days I can’t put the baby down and Everlee needs me, some days I have both girls crying, some nights I can’t get Oaklee down for anything, some nights I put her in bed with me out of desperation. But I will say, the exhausting moments don’t seem so terrible when we are all snuggled up on the couch. My heart could hurt it is so full!
We are very fortunate that Everlee is on an amazing schedule, loves her sleep and is such an adaptable sweet girl. It has seriously made things so much easier than I imagined. She goes down for her naps and bedtimes with no fuss so during those times I can focus solely on Oaklee, who is also such a good baby. Shae and I always joked that since Everlee was always such an easy newborn and baby, that this one would be a terror. We couldn’t have been more wrong. She never cries, is pretty much always content, does amazing in her car seat, sleeps on anyone with no preference. She also takes pets on the head, big hugs, wet kisses and tugs on her ears from her big sister like a champ.
The hardest part has been not being able to put Oaklee down during the day. She loves to be held and wakes up pretty quickly after being put down. Your second child definitely differs in that way – you can hold your first newborn as much as you want without being responsible over another. Everlee goes to sleep at 7pm every single night, so I typically pass Oaklee off to Shae and go jump in the shower. After that, I go set up the room for the night with a stockpile of diapers, wipes, puppy pads (seriously a lifesaver), an extra sleeper in case she has a blow out (which happens more often than I’d like) and water for me. Around 8, we make our way back to our bedroom, I turn on our Hatch Rest, nurse her and transfer her to her dockatot in her bassinet and she’s out until around 11. Sometimes she will give me one good 5 hour stretch but typically she’s up every 3 hours on the dot. The first couple weeks were pretty terrible, but at this point we have a good night routine down. The hardest part is waking up but it does get easier!
Unlike her sister, Oaklee doesn’t need to be attached to my boob all day to be satisfied. She wants to eat and be done for the most part. Which has made my life a lot easier. She will be held by anyone and sleep on anyone, which is nice because Shae can take her. But as I previously said, getting her to take a long nap other than someone’s arms is our biggest struggle. And when you have a toddler to take care of, it makes it pretty difficult. Unfortunately, this means we have been watching a lot of movies. Que the mom guilt. I keep telling myself this is only temporary and we are doing what we can to survive. Gone are the days I have dinner done at five when Shae walks in the door, gone is my perfectly cleaned up house. Surprisingly, my patience has been great. When Everlee has a hard time, or acts out, I’ve been extremely patient with her and tried to understand how this must be for her. Sometimes she needs a little snuggle from her mama, sometimes it’s her daddy, and sometimes she just needs to pout and get it out. But these times are far and few between. I’m so proud and blessed to have two great girls who don’t cause a lot of stress for Shae and I.
If Oaklee cries or makes a sound, Everlee runs over to check on her. If she isn’t covered up with a blanket, Everlee tries to cover her up. If she’s sleeping, Everlee says “shhhh” to everyone, and if she sees her babies bottle, she runs over and says “baba!” in an attempt to feed her a bottle. She really is the sweetest girl and I can’t wait to see them become the best of friends.
We are only 4 weeks in as of now, but I’m so unbelievably happy. I always wanted the chaos of a big family but have accepted that these two girls are going to be our only two and we are ready to give them the world. Shae loves all of us so much and we are so lucky to have him. I’ve said it a million times, but honestly my heart could not be more full.